Friday, April 15, 2011

317 The Eminem Show

Album: The Eminem Show
Artist: Eminem
Year: 2002
Genre: Hip Hop


1. Curtains Up (skit)
2. White America
3. Business
4. Cleanin' Out My Closet
5. Square Dance
6. The Kiss (skit)
7. Soldier
8. Say Goodbye Hollywood
9. Drips
10. Without Me
11. Paul Rosenberg (skit)
12. Sing for the Moment
13. Superman
14. Hailie's Song
15. Steve Berman
16. When the Music Stops
17. Say What You Say
18. Till I Collapse
19. My Dad's Gone Crazy
20. Curtains Close (skit)

When researching this album I was amazed to find a “Clean” version was released that removes all swearing and offensive language. All rude words were replaced with a brief but conspicuous moment of silence, which considering Eminem’s heavy use of profanities would have made the whole thing a _____ joke and just a _____ heap of ____ that only an ______ without a _____ would enjoy. It’s like televising a football match but censoring the kicking. Can you imagine how disappointed some poor American teenagers were on Christmas day when they unwrapped their present only to find they’d been dudded with the clean version? No doubt their reaction would have contained language deemed unacceptable on the album they were holding.

Eminem swears a lot primarily because he deals with some very sweary subjects. Some songs are purely about sex and others are more focused on people Eminem is angry with. And there’s a lot of people he’s not happy with at all. Including his ex wife who comes in for a lot of abuse as does his own mother who is a “Selfish bitch” that he hopes will “rot in hell”.

Critics praised The Eminem Show for being a revealing look at the man himself. Apparently the pretensions of the first two albums have been stripped away and Eminem has stood aside to let Marshall Mathers stand naked and exposed. Which is all very well but frankly Mr Mathers isn’t really a very likeable guy. In fact he’s a complete _____. If you’re a fan of arrogant, self-obsessed, misogynist losers with anger issues and a hatred of pretty much everyone in their life then this could be for you. If not then you might want to give it a miss. Telling us that you love your daughter a lot doesn’t make you a good person it just makes you a parent.

What this album needs is comedy sound effects. If the clean version replaced swear words with the sort of slapstick noises that used to be beloved by censors the Eminem Show would be an incredibly entertaining listen. Take these lines from Drippin which I’ve censored to comedy effect:

“sizin' up the figure while my BING getting bigger, debatin' on a TOOT or do I want to be her BLARP, caressin' this DING DONG, plus i'm checking out them POP, sippin' on that fine WA WA  I ain't used to buyin'"

Tell me that’s not entertaining? Certainly more fun than an angry man talking very quickly about people he doesn't like.

Influenced by: Old school rappers and self-loathing.
Influenced: White supremacists who liked rap.

Highlight: Without Me
Lowlight: The spoken bits really give me the skits.

Favourite Amazon Customer Review Quote:  "My farts have more entertainment value. I think 90% of his audience are white kids 25 and under. Pretty soon he'll be remembered as just a novelty act. It's a disgrace that he got a top ten song from this cd only because he ripped off a sample of an Aerosmith song. His cd will be good for wiping my bum with"

-Please people, I can't stress this enough, Do not wipe your bottom with a CD! Really. They're sharp, not very absorbent and they don't flush. You have been warned.

-So do you think Eminem is the _____ or is he just a _____ bag of ______? Let me know below

1 comment:

  1. This review made me LOL.

    Anyways, I can understand Eminem's first two LPs being on the list, but why this one??