Saturday, September 3, 2011

278. The Immaculate Collection.

Album: The Immaculate Collection
Artist: Madonna
Year: 1990
Genre: Pop


1. Holiday
2. Lucky Star
3. Borderline
4. Like A Virgin
5. Material Girl
6. Crazy For You
7. Into The Groove
8. Live To Tell
9. Papa Don't Preach
10. Open Your Heart
11. La Isla Bonita
12. Like A Prayer
13. Express Yourself
14. Cherish
15. Vogue
16. Justify My Love
17. Rescue Me

It's a fair testament to Madonna that I know almost every song on this album. I'm not a pop fan by any stretch of the imagination, I don't like pop generally and specifically I can't stand eighties pop. My idea of hell is being locked in a room and forced to listen to "Smash hits of the 80's" over and over again. The only way it could be worse is if I was joined in the room by someone who squealed with delight at each new song and insisted on telling me what memories it brought back.

But almost every song on this release I knew and in some instances knew quite well. Somehow throughout the eighties the songs on this album penetrated my subconscious. Even though neither of my parents ever listened to popular radio (it was classical only in my home) and my older brother was always into rock, I heard all these songs. I didn't listen to pop radio and never watched MTV so why do I know all the words to Like a Virgin? How did they get in my head? It's like Madonna's music is so ingrained in the human psyche we all know her music even though we never hunted it out. There are bushmen of the Kalahari singing Holiday over and over again to themselves and wishing a coke bottle would fall from the sky and knock them out cold to provide some relief.

Consequently I don't think I need to actually review this album. Look at the titles, you know all those songs. Even though I can't recall ever actually hearing them they're all there in my head and they're in yours as well. If that fact makes you smile then why not put on Immaculate Collection and enjoy the best that eighties pop has to offer? If you're annoyed that Maddonna's musical children are trespassing in your head then put on something else in a futile attempt to exorcise Papa don't preach from your mind. Either way take the time to apprecate how it's possible for someone to make music so ubiquitous it penetrates the mental defences I always erect in order to try and prevent eighties pop from ever penetrating my psyche.

Influenced by: A desire to combine commerical success with reinvention
Influenced: Any woman currently singing pop music.

Highlight: Like a Prayer
Lowlight: Crazy for you

Favourite Amazon Customer Review Quote: "For all you young ladies out there, you might find Madonna to be a role model in some way. But after seeing her Playboy spread, I feel as though I should share with all of you a message as a public service, and I hope you take heed: nice girls shave their armpits."

-Did you hear that? Nice girls shave their armpits. If you females have any hair in your armpits you are apparently not a nice girl. Thank god this guy came along and gave us a foolproof way of spotting girls who weren't nice. And good of him to scour the pages of playboy looking for girls who weren't nice to warn us about.

So is this collection Immaculate or is the name inaccurate? Let me know below.

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