Friday, November 8, 2013

72. Purple Rain (1984) Prince

1. Let's Go Crazy
2. Take Me with U
3. The Beautiful Ones
4. Computer Blue
5. Darling Nikki
6. When Doves Cry
7. I Would Die 4 U
8. Baby I'm a Star
9. Purple Rain"

Regular readers will know by now that I'm not Prince's greatest fan. I've approached his work with an open mind every time but I've never been able to find any access point into his music which I've always found tedious and annoying. I've tried to shed my distaste for the man himself and appreciate his talent in some way but I'm always left thinking he's just a self-aggrandising dickhead.

Purple Rain is Prince's last entry in the count down and his last attempt at winning me over and converting me to his large group of fans. It's widely regarded as the pinnacle of his achievements and the best thing he ever recorded. If it doesn't win you over then nothing will.

It didn't, so nothing will. I'm glad I sorted that out so now I can move on and never hear any Prince every again.

I'll refrain from saying unpleasant things about the guy because I've said enough already (both here and on other places on the internet) and try and limit myself to this release.

The happy news is that I've got something good to say about Prince. It's the first nice thing I've ever typed about the guy so we're sailing into completely uncharted territory here: When Doves Cry is a great song. It's well written and catchy and is enjoyable enough to overcome its terrible lyrics. "Animals strike curious poses" is an appalling line that actually sounds like it should be paired up with the rest of the lyrics and used by secret agents trying to identify each other in an episode of Get Smart.
Spy one: (looking over his shoulder cautiously) Animals strike curious poses.
Spy Two: (in a low voice) Dream if you can of a courtyard.
Spy One: An Ocean of Violets in Blue
Spy Two: Even Doves Have Pride
Spy One: Apples.
Spy Two: Macintosh. Is that you 99?

I miss that show.

While it's true that When Doves Cry is a great song, it's much better when other people do it. Prince is an annoying vocalist and his habit of throwing everything at a track to prove he's a multi instrumentalist turns the song from a nice ballad into something inherently annoying. I've got versions by Moxy Fruvous, Phish and Govt Mule which are both a lot more arresting than the original and highlight the tune but sadly emphasise how bad the words are.

The rest of Purple Rain is more of a pretentious and tedious stew of disco affectation that I endured the rest of the time with as open a mind as I could muster.

Prince was lucky enough to hit his peak during the eighties when the world dropped it's musical standards. If he'd started life in another era his entire career would be totally overlooked. Thankfully I've done my duty now. I've heard the best he's got to offer which means I can actually back myself when I talk about how much I hate him. When people say "But have you heard..." I can say "yes, yes I have, four times"

Lets never speak of him again.

Favourite Amazon Customer Review Quote: "This album was overrated back in 1984 when it was released, and it is painfully dated today. Prince's middle school obsession with sex was tiresome then, and is laughable now. Forget this junk."

-That pretty much sums up every word I've written about Prince so far in this blog. Well done.

So are you happy to serve under Prince's Purple Reign or do you want a revolution? Let me know below.

1 comment:

  1. Quick, lets move on from Ponce and forget that it ever happened. Just back away... there is nothing to see here anymore....... Run !!!!